And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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