Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
