david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I did not marry a roomba.
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