Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Watching her eat just hurts me
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
