She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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