You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
