Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
