his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
