Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
