Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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