Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
