i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
