Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
