I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
