New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
