I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
