Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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