you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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