I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
