Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
