I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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