Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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