Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
