my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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