a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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