I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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