I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
