He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize