She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
