You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
