meet me or not, i'm out of control
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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