i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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