Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
