i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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