K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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