I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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