Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize