but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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