The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
