Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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