I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
