I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
