I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
