I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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