so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize