who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
