friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
