I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
