Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
