So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
