i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
