Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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