I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
