Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
