Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
