And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
