okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
