I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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