so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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