Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
