just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
