i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
