You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
