Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
