I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize