At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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